She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
