No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
