I look better un-naked...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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