i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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