So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize