i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
