Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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