it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
