And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
