PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize