Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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