I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
