big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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