I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
