I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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