Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
