Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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