just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
