I am puke
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
