This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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