I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
one two three fourrrrnication!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
