I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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