My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
