You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
