would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize