After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
