Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
