Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
