when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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