two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
