He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize