Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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