Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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