Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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