I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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