I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
