you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
