when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize