i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
