OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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