he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
ttyl tear gas
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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