Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
