Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize