it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
