Umm I'm too high to move.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
