With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
