Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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