Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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