awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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