i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she pinky promised me she was 18
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
