I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
A+ Viking dick
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
