1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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