They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
