Ketchup is God's man juice
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
