Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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