So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
