And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
