sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i think im in europe. pls send help
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize