U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
