So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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