so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
