My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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