"it" just moved
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
